Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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