At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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