Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
