Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
