Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
