Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
