so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
