this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
