So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
