Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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