I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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