Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
