what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
