Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
