ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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