The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
