This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
