All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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