Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
