38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
