carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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