I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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