in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
