So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The dick lei will go down in squad history
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
