Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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