When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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