allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
