I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
