my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize