well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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