apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
