I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
