I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
