Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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