32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
