I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
