She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
