I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
