I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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