You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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