The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The adults are the big ones right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
