It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
