my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
