I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
