Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize