I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
