How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
