she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
