did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Randomize
