I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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