as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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