i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
