what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
