Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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