she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
