On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
