id be glad to
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
