member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
