you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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