Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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